Thursday, December 4, 2008

I Hate Christmas Music

True confessions of a dark and dangerous mind. I hate Christmas music. I don't really know why. Maybe because it's so twee and jolly? I just dislike it intensely. Loathe. Detest.

Christmas music should be played Christmas Eve, while wrapping presents. It should be traditional Christmas music. Some good examples would be from That Bastard Bing Crosby (go to the directory and look under "C") or Perry Como (also there under "C"). Andy Williams, as well. He's okay. You can also play Christmas music on Christmas Day. Not every day between Thanksgiving and a week after New Year's Day.

It does not include anything by Mariah Carey, the Chipmunks or the songs "Grandma Got Run Over By A Reindeer" or "I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus". Hello, therapy much? And people wonder why I hate clowns?!?

I am sure the Baby Christ Child would much rather, when he is shopping in Wal-Mart or Target, hear the strains of U2's "Mysterious Ways" on the Muzak, rather than their "Christmas (Baby Come Home)" rendition.

Or, you could just be like me and do your shopping online. You can stick your on headphones, crank up the Mp3 player in and listen to such uplifting Christmas jams like Mc5, who start a song by yelling, "Yo Motherfucker! Kick Out the JAMMMMS!"

Happy holidays, indeed!

8 comments:

Ronni said...

I like traditional Christmas carols, but I'm not a fan of most pop Christmas songs.

Now, Dolly Parton singing "Hard Candy Christmas," from "Best Little Whorehouse," is a different matter...

judemiller1 said...

At the Howell Wal-Mart, Christmas music was playing BEFORE Thanksgiving. I prefer to listen to it perhaps starting on December 20th. I also detest outside Christmas lights on display BEFORE Thanksgiving, but I do turn mine on December 1st. Merry, Merry, Lisa.

Nadine said...

I find myself turning the knob on the stereo to find something that isn't Christmas music. I do like some of the twisted carols though, like Weird Al's "Bad Santa".

Lisa said...

I won't pass up anything Dolly sings. And I have to admit, I love Adam Sandler's Hanukah song.

Have the T-shirt said...

I LOVE Christmas music, but I don't have it blaring throughout the house during the season. I usually just listen to it while I'm working at my desk or sometimes in the car.

I'll be sure to have it OFF Sunday when you're here :) However, I might make you listen to my Christmas Bells....you know, cause Mia would love them.

Donna H said...

I listen to A Celtic Christmas on repeat in my store. It's haunting. It resonates with my genealogical consciousness and my collective memory, whatever that means.

We have all sorts of wind up Christmas snow globes and Santas and other junk but my favorite was this blissful snowman riding a bike and when you wound it it played a xmas tune(I don't remember what) and the front wheel turned as his legs went up and down. I sold it yesterday. I'm sad. Ain't I?

ratkin638 said...

Well, friendship has to count for something, so I'll try to get through this whole comment without resorting to the word, "grinch"...

You expect people to get though a whole Christmas season without once hearing Bobby Helms belt out "Jingle Bell Rock"? No Brenda Lee singing "Rockin' Around The Christmas Tree"? Turn in Alvin and the Chipmonks doing their "Christmas Song" to listen to Perry Como? No Way!!

And as a personal aside, I'll give up ten repetitions of Der Bingle bleating out "White Christmas" in favor of just one broadcast of Roy Wood's Wizzard doing "I Wish It Could Be Christmas Every Day"!

Ronni said...

When shopping in a crowded store, singing or whistling along with the Muzak clears a path. Particularly if you skip and hop a bit to the Christmas beat.

I relearn that every year.

It's fun to be crazy!