Monday, July 19, 2010

Tales From My Crypt

Blame The Damn Merry Munchkin, Mitch

We finally purchased a second vehicle. Namely, my vehicle. I started off interested in a Cadillac, was horrified by the annual license plate fee (in the neighborhood of $500) and quickly lost all interest in a Cadillac. Besides, am I that much of an old lady? I get my first Cadillac at 44? Such a cliche.

Instead, I got a kick ass VW Wolfsburg Edition Jetta. It's fast, it's nimble, it's sporty but high end and I fly completely under the radar. Of course, the first thing I did was ask Martin to put on my Death Hag sticker.

My car is a 2007; my plates still cost nearly $400, more than a monthly car payment. Apparently, The Damn Merry Munchkin did something to lower property taxes but raised plate fees. I didn't read the whole scenario, my eyes were rolling so much I was afraid they would roll right out of my noggin. I admit, I'm not as well-versed in Indiana politics as I should be. Maybe this wasn't even The Damn Merry Munchkin's idea, but everything I've read about his policies, I think exactly the opposite and I just dislike the guy so he makes an easy target. Besides, from what I've seen, it's just like something he would do.

I thought I was getting shoes for my birthday, but instead I'm getting license plates. Ain't that grand? I'm so responsible. Twenty years ago, I would have been artistic with the white-out and milked that temporary tag til the tape curled and it fell off the back window and just bought the damn shoes.


We've been getting a lot of calls lately that show up on the caller I.D. as IN ST FOP which I can figure out is the Indiana State Fraternal Order of Police, looking for money. I'd already told them no a few months ago, I'm sketpical if this is the legitimate thing, but I guess they thought they'd try the pond again. Finally, I shoved the phone at Martin and told him to take care of it. I hear him telling the person on the other end that yes, his wife made a donation just last week, by golly!

When he hung up, I asked him, "Did you just lie to the state police?"

Martin said, "Yes, I did, I wanted to get him of the phone, I'm trying to watch Futurama and play Children of The Nile." (Geek.)

Mia: "You lied to the POLICE?!?", clearly agog with this news.

Me: "Your turn to explain."


Ronni said...


judemiller1 said...

Usually it isn't the "real" police that call, but a firm that they hire to do their calling for them. They always say, "Since you helped us last year..." and I like to rattle them so I ask, "I can't much did I contribute last year?" and of course they don't know so I say, "BECAUSE I didn't contribute anything last year --and I can't this year either--goodbye."

Nadine said...

Just explain to Mia that it's okay to lie to the police if it's for a good cause! LOL
Now that you have a fast car and all.... Congrats!

fvracer_x said...

Meh, if I hadn't been trying to concentrate on 4 things at once (namely; Futurama, Children of the Nile, Mia, and the stupid telemarketer) I might have said I'd be happy to donate just as soon as my tax money buys me a "company" car (the cops here drive their cars full time, on duty and off)... Seems fair, no?

Ronni said...

I would definitely tell Mia that it wasn't really the police, but a scamming ripoff pretending to be the police.

Clearly you are doing things right, if she was shocked.

fvracer_x said...

Funny Ronni! She is such a little goody-two-shoes I keep half expecting her to go all "Bad Seed" on us and start leaving bodies under the stairs... LMAO!

Nadine said...

Well, does your crypt have internet? Should we send a search party? Hope life is being good to you! I miss your smart aleck comments and all that makes you fabulous.

Nadine said...

Well I hope there's LOTS of bodies under the stairs, since it's Halloween and all. Lisa, climb out of that crypt and scratch out a message, girl!

Heather said...

Hi I’m Heather! Please email me when you get a chance! HeatherVonsj(at)gmail(dot)com