First Time Mumma

From The Writer's Block: Describe the youngest baby you've ever held, and how he or she felt in your arms.

I've always considered myself to be fortunate to have one biological child and one adopted child. Although they are equally my children, I got to experience the best of both worlds.

Getting pregnant with Dexter was a surprise. I was scared out of my mind, but determined, and happy. I also felt very alone; sometimes it seemed to me that I was the only one who thought this whole Lisa with a baby thing was a good idea.

I had been around babies to a certain degree, but not newborns. Babies kind of freaked me out. I thought they were cute, most of them at least, but I was terrified of holding them. They just looked so frail and helpless with their little wobbly heads twirling on their turkey skin necks.

S and I watched Star Trek: The Next Generation after the epidural kicked in. He was a big Captain Picard fan. As a result, I knew far more about Star Trek: The Next Generation than I ever could have hoped to know. One of Dexter's uncles, in fact, looks very much like the dude who played Commander Bill Rikert. I always thought he and Deanna Troy were an unlikely match, although I coveted her hair.

I didn't have a lot of hard labor. In fact, it only hurt at the very end, and it was a wowser. I remember asking one of the nurses in the room, "When is this pain going to stop?" Except I don't think I was quite so subdued and I'm sure I was loud. She chirped back at me, "As soon as your baby is here!" Wow, thanks, I'm so glad you decided on a career in nursing.

The first thing Dexter did when I held him was poop on me. Apparently, this is not uncommon. He was red and squinchy and howling and I'd never seen anything quite so amazing. S declared that he looked just like Ho Chi Minh, and I agreed. Both of us were overwhelmed that we had created this little entity, I think.

Dexter is sixteen now. He's not having an easy time with the teen-age thing, but I still find it pretty amazing that I was instrumental in creating another human being, so that makes him amazing to me.