Friday, October 2, 2009

The Model Railroad Curse

My husband is a model railroder. No, he doesn't wear that jaunty little blue and white striped cap while he does it. Or train engineer overalls. Thank God.

When we lived in Howell, MI, he had an HO scale layout that was twelve by twenty feet. It was huge, and detailed, and now, he's on N scale, much smaller, which sits on a door supported by sawhorses in my bedroom.

He gets really excited when he gets the new issues of Model Railroader every month. I get really excited when I get my Vanity Fair every month, but that's apples and oranges. This month, there was a huge pictorial (in Model Railroader, not Vanity Fair) about doing an autumn layout and Martin was especially thrilled, since he was planning on doing autumn in his Indy 4 Yards Monon Trail or whatever layout thing.

So Martin was showing me all these wonderful pictures in Model Railroader of autumn trees.

Our conversation went something like this:

HIM: Okay, so I should grow sedum. But it takes two years, so the brother of the author of this article in Model Railroader suggests I ask my neighbors for some sedum.

ME: What the hell are you talking about? You're going to stalk the neighbors gardens and ask them for the sedum when it goes to seed? What the hell is sedum anyway?

HIM: It's a plant that when it seeds will look good on the layout. It will go great with the autumn layout.

ME: I don't even know how to respond to that. Should I have bail money ready when you get arrested for stalking our neighbors plants?

HIM: Oh you're so funny. Look at these beautiful autumn trees. I could do that.

ME: Sure you could. Those orange leaves look just like Cheet0os. You could get a bag at Wal-Mart, like the Wal-Mart brand, and Krazy Glu them on the branches and spray them with Aqua Net and they'd look just like those trees in the magazine.

: Did you just suggest I use Cheetos in my layout?

ME: Yep.


fvracer_x said...

This was, naturally, the conversation going on in Lisa's head. You know, the one no one else can hear...

Lisa said...

I call Bullshit. I was laughing so hard at my Cheeto suggestion I could barely talk and you were looking at me like I grew another head.

Cheetos, I'm telling you. The secret to autumn layout.

Nadine said...

I like Cheetos....

Any excuse to get another bag into the house wins my approval.

fvracer_x said...

You're on! I bet you I CAN model a Cheeto to look like a pretty realistic Autumn Tree! Shall we do a weekly entry about this bet, smartie? ;-)


Ronni said...

Best use I've ever heard for Cheetos! You should send the suggestion to the company. It's a new market!

Lisa said...

Sure Martin, like enough of those Cheetos would actually make it anywhere but in someone's mouth.

Yours, for instance.


fvracer_x said...

It isn't how they get there, its where they end up. Right Lis? Your Cheeto tree is on the drawing board! LMAO!.


Ronni said...

I'm glad you guys are having fun!

Anonymous said...

I just read this to my husband and we howled with laughter till tears ran. I love these man/woman conversations. Excuse me, I have to go blow my nose.