I haven't written shit or shinola in the past week, as far as writing. I feel like I need to, I made a commitment to do this, and I try to count my blog, but more often than not, I'm boring here. My day-to-day life is not very compelling. Writing about it is certainly not using my craft.
If indeed, I do possess a true gift for the craft, which I sometimes doubt.
I'm so lazy. I have problems finishing projects. I always have. I can remember trying to teach my cousin Peggy to knit, and my aunt commenting that I need to finish things I start. I distinctly remember a shrink I used to see telling me, you can't go on to another thing, meaning relationships, until you've finished the last. I leave threads hanging all over every thing I sow.
I did, however, become adept at tying up loose threads with past relationships. They all hate me. No loose ends with that. I do it that way. I'm not particularly proud of this, but I did rock a few worlds back in the day and beat feet when my life started inspiring me to listen to country music in more than an ironic/iconic way. Going got tough, Lisa got going.
That was the Story Of My Life.
Martin and I have had every sort of crisis and downturn and awful thing happen. Everything horrible you can imagine happening to a couple, short of cheating or our child getting sick. Financial ruin, check; substance abuse, check; physical illness and/or catastrophe; check. I've hung onto it all. I've turned it over and dwelled on it and let it go. Just let it go and move on. It's been a big realization for me. Like, we fought the law and the law didn't win. We did. I'm the least romantic of people. I hate the mushy shit. Martin loves romantic comedy movies, he believes in romance, but he also believes I really need my anti-depressants as well, so I guess it's working.
Now, I need to write. Like one of my inspiration books says, "If not now, when?"
It's okay to be filled with doubt about this. I know, I know in my mind and in my heart, sometimes, I can write something, if only a sentence, sometimes a whole passage, that can knock my socks, and yours, off.
I just need to do it.
Sunday, October 25, 2009
When Gran Comes To Town
We had a lovely visit with my in-laws. I made a nice dinner Friday evening and we visited. Saturday, Gran and Mia and I went shopping and Poppa and Martin went to some train stores. Mia got some very cute jeans and tops and a new warm-up. She is such a girly girl. She loves new clothes. Martin got some train layout trees. They have real dried sedum in them. He didn't have to stalk the neighbors' gardens. He was pretty excited, too.
We had a nice late lunch/early dinner with Margaret and Peter before they left for Michigan. For once, when Martin mentioned to his dad the idea of moving here, closer to us, his dad didn't dismiss it out of hand as impossible.
The most likely reason Martin's dad didn't just brush the idea off would be that my mother-in-law has finally been diagnosed correctly; yes she is developing Alzhiemers, that awful disease. For a long time, her forgetfulness was being blamed on the medication she was taking for her low blood pressure. While that may have contributed to it, it's obvious now that its much more than just simple forgetfulness. She is in the early stages, according to the tests done. She is on medication to address the Alzheimers now and hopefully, we will see a difference. Or at least, it won't progress as quickly.
My friend Tiffany went to an early Halloween party on Saturday evening and we watched her son Timothy. He and Mia occupy and entertain each other completely. They don't argue and they find things they can both do, although Mia does tend to boss him, as she bosses everyone. They're very cute together.
Tiffany and I also played Cupid, to a degree. She has a single uncle, who asked Tiffany if she knew any single women. Tiffany is twenty-five and pointed this out to her uncle, who is, you know, uncle age. Like closer to my age than hers. She mentioned it to me and I thought of my blogging friend T-Shirt and voila, pictures and texts were exchanged and they met and went out. I texted T-Shirt and asked how it was going an hour or so in, and she texted back, "He's an idiot." I panicked, because I had never met the uncle and I really like T-Shirt and even though I send her CraigsList personal ads that I think are funny, if I set her up with an idiot, I'd be mad at me, if I were her.
After I sent her a lame apology, she said, "I'm kidding, he's nice and we're having a great time." I've never been too successful at playing matchmaker, so if they didn't hate each other on sight, I'd consider it a major achievement. If they actually like each other, I'd be at the pinnacle of my matchmaking career, worthy of the Oscar of set-ups by friends.
I tried to watch the Colts game this afternoon. It's hard not to be a Colts fan living in Indy. They are a great team. Almost so good as to be boring. All these years as a Spartan fan have prepared me to hope for the best but expect the worst and sometimes, get a really wonderful surprise. The Colts just consistently nail it. They don't play perfectly, but they play smart and they play hard. I've always prefered NCAA level play to pro, but I'm really trying with the Colts. I miss the heartbreakers, nail-biters, and underdog wins.
I'm still enjoying Mad Men tremendously and can't believe there are one a few episodes left in the sesaon. It's the best show on TV, and I never thought something could bypass The Sopranos. Sons of Anarchy has promise, but needs tighter writing and dialogue. Its got good bones, but the skeleton needs to be fleshed out.
Speaking of which, it's 9:58 on Sunday evening. Time for the Don Draper fix. As the Go Fug Yourself girls said of Jon Hamm; "Could I be the green eggs in his Hamm?"
We had a nice late lunch/early dinner with Margaret and Peter before they left for Michigan. For once, when Martin mentioned to his dad the idea of moving here, closer to us, his dad didn't dismiss it out of hand as impossible.
The most likely reason Martin's dad didn't just brush the idea off would be that my mother-in-law has finally been diagnosed correctly; yes she is developing Alzhiemers, that awful disease. For a long time, her forgetfulness was being blamed on the medication she was taking for her low blood pressure. While that may have contributed to it, it's obvious now that its much more than just simple forgetfulness. She is in the early stages, according to the tests done. She is on medication to address the Alzheimers now and hopefully, we will see a difference. Or at least, it won't progress as quickly.
My friend Tiffany went to an early Halloween party on Saturday evening and we watched her son Timothy. He and Mia occupy and entertain each other completely. They don't argue and they find things they can both do, although Mia does tend to boss him, as she bosses everyone. They're very cute together.
Tiffany and I also played Cupid, to a degree. She has a single uncle, who asked Tiffany if she knew any single women. Tiffany is twenty-five and pointed this out to her uncle, who is, you know, uncle age. Like closer to my age than hers. She mentioned it to me and I thought of my blogging friend T-Shirt and voila, pictures and texts were exchanged and they met and went out. I texted T-Shirt and asked how it was going an hour or so in, and she texted back, "He's an idiot." I panicked, because I had never met the uncle and I really like T-Shirt and even though I send her CraigsList personal ads that I think are funny, if I set her up with an idiot, I'd be mad at me, if I were her.
After I sent her a lame apology, she said, "I'm kidding, he's nice and we're having a great time." I've never been too successful at playing matchmaker, so if they didn't hate each other on sight, I'd consider it a major achievement. If they actually like each other, I'd be at the pinnacle of my matchmaking career, worthy of the Oscar of set-ups by friends.
I tried to watch the Colts game this afternoon. It's hard not to be a Colts fan living in Indy. They are a great team. Almost so good as to be boring. All these years as a Spartan fan have prepared me to hope for the best but expect the worst and sometimes, get a really wonderful surprise. The Colts just consistently nail it. They don't play perfectly, but they play smart and they play hard. I've always prefered NCAA level play to pro, but I'm really trying with the Colts. I miss the heartbreakers, nail-biters, and underdog wins.
I'm still enjoying Mad Men tremendously and can't believe there are one a few episodes left in the sesaon. It's the best show on TV, and I never thought something could bypass The Sopranos. Sons of Anarchy has promise, but needs tighter writing and dialogue. Its got good bones, but the skeleton needs to be fleshed out.
Speaking of which, it's 9:58 on Sunday evening. Time for the Don Draper fix. As the Go Fug Yourself girls said of Jon Hamm; "Could I be the green eggs in his Hamm?"
Thursday, October 22, 2009
The In-Laws Are Coming
Mia is on Fall Break from school until next Monday, so Margaret & Peter are coming down to visit. They are actually going to stay the night! Not with us, of course, but in one of the many fine hotels nearby.
Normally, they would drive down, spend a few hours and drive back, since Margaret was afraid her elderly boxer would die while they were gone. Moe, sadly, is no longer with them, so they have a bit of freedom to wander the roads between southeastern Michigan and Indianapolis.
Today will be spent hunting and gathering food, making what I can ahead of time, and tidying the house. I've decided to make a small ham. Margaret can't tolerate anything with much seasoning in it at all these days, so I thought a ham would be easy, tasty without spicy, and a good fall type of meal. I'm going to add scallopped potatoes au gratin, but of the most mild variety. No bacon, or bacon grease, will be used in the preparation of the potatoes. With a side of peas, some take and bake bread and a raspberry crumb cobbler, (from a box, shhhhhh), I think it will be a nice meal.
I'm looking forward to seeing them; we haven't since spring.
Normally, they would drive down, spend a few hours and drive back, since Margaret was afraid her elderly boxer would die while they were gone. Moe, sadly, is no longer with them, so they have a bit of freedom to wander the roads between southeastern Michigan and Indianapolis.
Today will be spent hunting and gathering food, making what I can ahead of time, and tidying the house. I've decided to make a small ham. Margaret can't tolerate anything with much seasoning in it at all these days, so I thought a ham would be easy, tasty without spicy, and a good fall type of meal. I'm going to add scallopped potatoes au gratin, but of the most mild variety. No bacon, or bacon grease, will be used in the preparation of the potatoes. With a side of peas, some take and bake bread and a raspberry crumb cobbler, (from a box, shhhhhh), I think it will be a nice meal.
I'm looking forward to seeing them; we haven't since spring.
Wednesday, October 21, 2009
First Time Mumma
From The Writer's Block: Describe the youngest baby you've ever held, and how he or she felt in your arms.
I've always considered myself to be fortunate to have one biological child and one adopted child. Although they are equally my children, I got to experience the best of both worlds.
Getting pregnant with Dexter was a surprise. I was scared out of my mind, but determined, and happy. I also felt very alone; sometimes it seemed to me that I was the only one who thought this whole Lisa with a baby thing was a good idea.
I had been around babies to a certain degree, but not newborns. Babies kind of freaked me out. I thought they were cute, most of them at least, but I was terrified of holding them. They just looked so frail and helpless with their little wobbly heads twirling on their turkey skin necks.
S and I watched Star Trek: The Next Generation after the epidural kicked in. He was a big Captain Picard fan. As a result, I knew far more about Star Trek: The Next Generation than I ever could have hoped to know. One of Dexter's uncles, in fact, looks very much like the dude who played Commander Bill Rikert. I always thought he and Deanna Troy were an unlikely match, although I coveted her hair.
I didn't have a lot of hard labor. In fact, it only hurt at the very end, and it was a wowser. I remember asking one of the nurses in the room, "When is this pain going to stop?" Except I don't think I was quite so subdued and I'm sure I was loud. She chirped back at me, "As soon as your baby is here!" Wow, thanks, I'm so glad you decided on a career in nursing.
The first thing Dexter did when I held him was poop on me. Apparently, this is not uncommon. He was red and squinchy and howling and I'd never seen anything quite so amazing. S declared that he looked just like Ho Chi Minh, and I agreed. Both of us were overwhelmed that we had created this little entity, I think.
Dexter is sixteen now. He's not having an easy time with the teen-age thing, but I still find it pretty amazing that I was instrumental in creating another human being, so that makes him amazing to me.
I've always considered myself to be fortunate to have one biological child and one adopted child. Although they are equally my children, I got to experience the best of both worlds.
Getting pregnant with Dexter was a surprise. I was scared out of my mind, but determined, and happy. I also felt very alone; sometimes it seemed to me that I was the only one who thought this whole Lisa with a baby thing was a good idea.
I had been around babies to a certain degree, but not newborns. Babies kind of freaked me out. I thought they were cute, most of them at least, but I was terrified of holding them. They just looked so frail and helpless with their little wobbly heads twirling on their turkey skin necks.
S and I watched Star Trek: The Next Generation after the epidural kicked in. He was a big Captain Picard fan. As a result, I knew far more about Star Trek: The Next Generation than I ever could have hoped to know. One of Dexter's uncles, in fact, looks very much like the dude who played Commander Bill Rikert. I always thought he and Deanna Troy were an unlikely match, although I coveted her hair.
I didn't have a lot of hard labor. In fact, it only hurt at the very end, and it was a wowser. I remember asking one of the nurses in the room, "When is this pain going to stop?" Except I don't think I was quite so subdued and I'm sure I was loud. She chirped back at me, "As soon as your baby is here!" Wow, thanks, I'm so glad you decided on a career in nursing.
The first thing Dexter did when I held him was poop on me. Apparently, this is not uncommon. He was red and squinchy and howling and I'd never seen anything quite so amazing. S declared that he looked just like Ho Chi Minh, and I agreed. Both of us were overwhelmed that we had created this little entity, I think.
Dexter is sixteen now. He's not having an easy time with the teen-age thing, but I still find it pretty amazing that I was instrumental in creating another human being, so that makes him amazing to me.
Tuesday, October 20, 2009
Affirmation
I must write something every day, even if it's only something mundane on this very mundane blog.
Grocery lists, weekly menus and to-do lists do not count, no mater how creative the chores or menus.
From The Pocket Muse, by Monica Wood:
"My friend Alison, who has four kids, rented a motel room for three days just to write. She claims it changed her life. Get out of town."
Wonderful idea, but I don't see that happening anytime in the near future. I do, however, need to move out of the dining room, where hausfrau temptations abound. Have laptop, will travel. At least upstairs.
Grocery lists, weekly menus and to-do lists do not count, no mater how creative the chores or menus.
From The Pocket Muse, by Monica Wood:
"My friend Alison, who has four kids, rented a motel room for three days just to write. She claims it changed her life. Get out of town."
Wonderful idea, but I don't see that happening anytime in the near future. I do, however, need to move out of the dining room, where hausfrau temptations abound. Have laptop, will travel. At least upstairs.
Thursday, October 15, 2009
I've Got To Stop Reading The Personals On CraigsList
It's not as if I'm looking for a casual encounter, a missed connection, or miscellenous romance.
I just read them because so many are so damn funny.
Guy Number 1
Guy in his late 50s will be in Indy this week-end and would like to find a lady with lovely feet. After pleasuring himself while looking at your feet, he will then take you to dinner! Presumably, dinner won't be in the parking lot of the DSW or Payless.
Guy Number 2
Has a picture of himself, from the neck down, in his underwear. While his equipment is certainly impressive, the Joe Boxer bikini underwear, sold exclusively at KMart, is not. Dude, at least put on some Hanes or Jockeys.
I just read them because so many are so damn funny.
Guy Number 1
Guy in his late 50s will be in Indy this week-end and would like to find a lady with lovely feet. After pleasuring himself while looking at your feet, he will then take you to dinner! Presumably, dinner won't be in the parking lot of the DSW or Payless.
Guy Number 2
Has a picture of himself, from the neck down, in his underwear. While his equipment is certainly impressive, the Joe Boxer bikini underwear, sold exclusively at KMart, is not. Dude, at least put on some Hanes or Jockeys.
Wednesday, October 14, 2009
October Is Breast Cancer Awareness Month
Breast cancer has affected so many women I know, myself included.
Is you look on the right side of my blog, there is a badge for The Breast Cancer site
All you have to do is click on it, and click the button on the site to help fund free mammograms. You don't even have to register. The site is funded by sponsors. If you click through and buy something from one of the sponsors, that's great; but you don't have to.
Please take just moment of your time and visit them; add them to your favorites and click through every day. It's a very small thing, but everything starts with a baby step.
Is you look on the right side of my blog, there is a badge for The Breast Cancer site
All you have to do is click on it, and click the button on the site to help fund free mammograms. You don't even have to register. The site is funded by sponsors. If you click through and buy something from one of the sponsors, that's great; but you don't have to.
Please take just moment of your time and visit them; add them to your favorites and click through every day. It's a very small thing, but everything starts with a baby step.
Tuesday, October 13, 2009
Chilly
I have finally broken out the sweatshirts and retired my flip flops for the year. I've even started wearing socks on a regular basis and I hate socks. I hate cold feet, worse, though.
Most of the kids at Mia's bus stop are already sporting their winter coats, and on occasion, knit hats. Like it's March and we're in that terrible deep cold that makes me long for a beach, a fruity drink, and the smell of Bain de Soleil.
It's not just the kids I've seen overdressed, though. There are more than a few adults with winter wear on. I find it partiuclarly amusing when they have on a heavy jacket and shorts.
It's chilly in the mornings and after dark, but it still hits the mid to high fifties during the day, so I think some of these Hoosiers are overdoing it, a bit.
This week-end, Martin and I took a drive, since it was a beautiful fall day. We drove out toward Brownsburg and wow, there are a lot of cornnfields between here and there.
I may kvetch about Indy, and make a certain amount of fun of Hoosiers, but I do love it here. Where else can you be seven miles from the downtown of a big city and find a cornfield? In fact, Martin's company is at the airport complex and right across from their facility is a huge field that is farmed. It's rather quaint and charming to look in one direction and see planes taking off and look in the other direction and see a combine.
Most of the kids at Mia's bus stop are already sporting their winter coats, and on occasion, knit hats. Like it's March and we're in that terrible deep cold that makes me long for a beach, a fruity drink, and the smell of Bain de Soleil.
It's not just the kids I've seen overdressed, though. There are more than a few adults with winter wear on. I find it partiuclarly amusing when they have on a heavy jacket and shorts.
It's chilly in the mornings and after dark, but it still hits the mid to high fifties during the day, so I think some of these Hoosiers are overdoing it, a bit.
This week-end, Martin and I took a drive, since it was a beautiful fall day. We drove out toward Brownsburg and wow, there are a lot of cornnfields between here and there.
I may kvetch about Indy, and make a certain amount of fun of Hoosiers, but I do love it here. Where else can you be seven miles from the downtown of a big city and find a cornfield? In fact, Martin's company is at the airport complex and right across from their facility is a huge field that is farmed. It's rather quaint and charming to look in one direction and see planes taking off and look in the other direction and see a combine.
Friday, October 2, 2009
The Model Railroad Curse
My husband is a model railroder. No, he doesn't wear that jaunty little blue and white striped cap while he does it. Or train engineer overalls. Thank God.
When we lived in Howell, MI, he had an HO scale layout that was twelve by twenty feet. It was huge, and detailed, and now, he's on N scale, much smaller, which sits on a door supported by sawhorses in my bedroom.
He gets really excited when he gets the new issues of Model Railroader every month. I get really excited when I get my Vanity Fair every month, but that's apples and oranges. This month, there was a huge pictorial (in Model Railroader, not Vanity Fair) about doing an autumn layout and Martin was especially thrilled, since he was planning on doing autumn in his Indy 4 Yards Monon Trail or whatever layout thing.
So Martin was showing me all these wonderful pictures in Model Railroader of autumn trees.
Our conversation went something like this:
HIM: Okay, so I should grow sedum. But it takes two years, so the brother of the author of this article in Model Railroader suggests I ask my neighbors for some sedum.
ME: What the hell are you talking about? You're going to stalk the neighbors gardens and ask them for the sedum when it goes to seed? What the hell is sedum anyway?
HIM: It's a plant that when it seeds will look good on the layout. It will go great with the autumn layout.
ME: I don't even know how to respond to that. Should I have bail money ready when you get arrested for stalking our neighbors plants?
HIM: Oh you're so funny. Look at these beautiful autumn trees. I could do that.
ME: Sure you could. Those orange leaves look just like Cheet0os. You could get a bag at Wal-Mart, like the Wal-Mart brand, and Krazy Glu them on the branches and spray them with Aqua Net and they'd look just like those trees in the magazine.
HIM: Did you just suggest I use Cheetos in my layout?
ME: Yep.
When we lived in Howell, MI, he had an HO scale layout that was twelve by twenty feet. It was huge, and detailed, and now, he's on N scale, much smaller, which sits on a door supported by sawhorses in my bedroom.
He gets really excited when he gets the new issues of Model Railroader every month. I get really excited when I get my Vanity Fair every month, but that's apples and oranges. This month, there was a huge pictorial (in Model Railroader, not Vanity Fair) about doing an autumn layout and Martin was especially thrilled, since he was planning on doing autumn in his Indy 4 Yards Monon Trail or whatever layout thing.
So Martin was showing me all these wonderful pictures in Model Railroader of autumn trees.
Our conversation went something like this:
HIM: Okay, so I should grow sedum. But it takes two years, so the brother of the author of this article in Model Railroader suggests I ask my neighbors for some sedum.
ME: What the hell are you talking about? You're going to stalk the neighbors gardens and ask them for the sedum when it goes to seed? What the hell is sedum anyway?
HIM: It's a plant that when it seeds will look good on the layout. It will go great with the autumn layout.
ME: I don't even know how to respond to that. Should I have bail money ready when you get arrested for stalking our neighbors plants?
HIM: Oh you're so funny. Look at these beautiful autumn trees. I could do that.
ME: Sure you could. Those orange leaves look just like Cheet0os. You could get a bag at Wal-Mart, like the Wal-Mart brand, and Krazy Glu them on the branches and spray them with Aqua Net and they'd look just like those trees in the magazine.
HIM: Did you just suggest I use Cheetos in my layout?
ME: Yep.
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